Everytime I think of him, I get more and more depressed?

Its a long story--but long story short. I fell in love, I don't mean infatuated or wow hes attractive or...drawing his name all over my notebook crush. I mean love. He doesnt live here and I kind of blew my chance away, usually when hes in town we hangout. I don't think he loves me I think its more of a ual attraction for him, like friends with benefits sort of, with more history. Knowing that ill never have him kills me. I go through random phases of depression and I try to express it creatively by writing poetry or music but nothing seems to do the trick. It seems to be taking a negative turn on my health as i'm always sad. I hate that someone has the capability of doing this to me. I just want to be happy again, but I love him so much...Ive tried so hard to get over him but I just cant for some reason. Its that feeling he gives me, its like no one else can do that. :( I know its redundant maybe to ask this question on here...but what can I do to feel better?